Friday, November 17, 2017

Thought for the Day

Funny Friday


The weeks seem to be flying by as we get closer to Christmas, or is that just a characteristic of getting older?

Flying is also a segue for the theme of today's Funny Friday: aeroplanes and flying. Enjoy.

By the way, who recalls the name of the autopilot in Flying High?

A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation.

"I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!"

"Sorry", the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to blow up the plane."

"So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!"

"Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is one in one thousand.. That's quite high if you think about it - so high that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a flight."

"And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?"

"You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is one in one thousand, the chance that there are two bombs is one in one million. If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually one in one million, and I am much safer... “

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.
She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:
"Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?"
"Of course my child. What can I do for you?"
"Here is the problem. I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"
"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie."
"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the hair remover device.
The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son,” he replied.
Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"
The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used."
Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 93 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"
The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

Two Arabs boarded a flight from Washington to New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat.

Just before take-off a little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs.

He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.”

“No problem,” said the Israeli, “Stay there, I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spat in it.

When the Israeli returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.”

Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he was gone the Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it too.

The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.

As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

“How long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our people…this hatred…this animosity…this spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?”

A purser on a flight from Cairns to Brisbane asked a passenger in Business Class what he had in his bag.  

“ Crabs,  Caught them  this morning.  They’re still alive and kicking.  I’ll cook them tonight.”  

The purser, a charming young woman, volunteered to keep them in the kitchen until the flight was over.  The flight was full and she was pretty busy.  As the plane was circling Brisbane she realized that she wasn’t quite sure which passenger the parcel belonging to.  So she called over the intercom “Would the man who gave me the crabs in Cairns come forward so that I can give them back to him.”


Corn Corner:

A blonde gets to fly in an airplane for the first time. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....." She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "Be silent!" There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...." 

The answer to the question raised at the beginning of this post . . .

(Otto Pilot.  Autopilot.  Get it? . . .  at least, that is what I assume.)

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Thought for the Day

Origins: Denim and Jeans

  • Denim is a sturdy cotton warp-faced textile in which the weft passes under two or more warp threads. 
  • The most common denim is indigo denim, in which the warp thread is dyed, while the weft thread is left white. As a result, one side of the textile is dominated by the blue warp threads and the other side is dominated by the white weft threads. This causes blue jeans to be white on the inside. The indigo dyeing process, in which the core of the warp threads remains white, creates denim's signature fading characteristics.

  • The name "denim" derives from the French “serge de Nîmes”, meaning “serge from Nîmes”.
  • Denim was traditionally colored blue with indigo dye to make blue jeans, although "jean" formerly denoted a different, lighter, cotton fabric. The contemporary use of the word "jeans" comes from the French word for Genoa, Italy (Gênes), where the first denim trousers were made.
  • Denim has been used in the United States since the mid 19th century. Denim initially gained popularity in 1873 when Jacob W. Davis, a tailor from Nevada, manufactured the first pair of rivet-reinforced denim pants. 
Jacob Davis (1831-1908), photographed in 1905
  • At this time, clothes for Western labourers, such as teamsters, surveyors, and miners, were not very durable. His concept for making reinforced jeans was inspired when a female customer requested a pair of durable and strong pants for her husband to chop wood. When Davis was about to finish making the denim jeans, he saw some copper rivets lying on a table and used the rivets to fasten the pockets. Soon, the popularity of denim jeans began to spread rapidly and Davis was overwhelmed with requests. He soon sold 200 pairs to workers in need of heavy work clothing. Nevertheless, because of the production capacity in his small shop, Davis was struggling to keep up with the demand. 
  • Davis wrote a proposal to dry goods wholesaler Levi Strauss & Co. that had been supplying Davis with bolts of denim fabric. Davis's proposal was to patent the design of the rivet-reinforced denim pant, with Davis listed as inventor, in exchange for certain rights of manufacture. Levi Strauss & Co. was so impressed by the possibilities for profit in the manufacture of the garment that they then hired Davis to be in charge of the mass production in San Francisco.
  • Because of the popularity of the jeans manufactured by Levi Strauss & Co , the term “levi’s” became a generic term for jeans, later being limited to jeans from Levi Strauss & Co.
  • Levi Strauss was born in Germany in 1829 into a Jewish family. At the age of 18, Strauss, his mother and two sisters travelled to the United States to join his brothers Jonas and Louis, who had begun a wholesale dry goods business in New York City called J. Strauss Brother & Co.
  • The family decided to open a West Coast branch of the family dry goods business in San Francisco, which was the commercial hub of the California Gold Rush. Levi was chosen to represent the family and he opened his dry goods wholesale business as Levi Strauss & Co. The business imported fine dry goods—clothing, bedding, combs, purses, handkerchiefs—from his brothers in New York. He also made tents, a business which enabled him to branch out into manufacture of jeans.
  • Levi Strauss died in 1902, in San Francisco at the age of 73. He never married, and left the business to his four nephews. His estate was estimated to be around $6 million[($164 million in 2014 dollars), with large amounts having been left to charities.

Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis received their patent for copper riveted jeans in 1873. The above image ge of two horses straining to tear apart a pair of pants is from 1886.  With their patent to run out in 1890, Strauss and David rightly surmised there would be cheaper competitors.  The above image was designed to emhasise the strength of the product as well as creating a recognisable image for people unable to read. Indeed the company was known as the Two Horses brand until 1928.

A young Levi Strauss

Death of Levi Strauss

Levi's first miner's pants, worn by miners in Placer County, California, in 1882

In the 950s people who wore jeans were seen as street punk or rebellious teenagers. Above: James Dean and Marlon Brando. Slowly this image changed over time and today we see people with different ages comfortably wearing jeans. It is still big thing in fashion industry that does not get old or out of trend.

Marilyn Monroe helped popularise blue jeans by wearing them in her 1954 film “River of No Return”

Marilyn Monroe with co-star Robert Mitchum

The original pair of blue jeans, Levi’s 501 jeans, were actually called ‘waist overalls’, or just ‘overalls’, when they were first created. This was traditionally the name for men’s workwear.

The Red Tab was first placed onto the right back pocket of the jeans in 1936 as a way to identify Levi’s from their competition. 

Levi’s are also the creators of the denim jacket. The earliest denim jacket dates back to the late 1880s and was originally referred to as the Blouse. The jacket that we know today came into existence in 1962. Above: Miley Cyrus with denim jacket and denim shorts.

Ever wondered what that tiny useless pocket in your levi’s is for? The answer is that originally it was for watches for watches for cowboys in the 1800s. The Levi Strauss website suggests modern uses: "Originally included as protection for pocket watches, thus the name, this extra pouch has served many functions, evident in its many titles: frontier pocket, condom pocket, coin pocket, match pocket and ticket pocket, to name a few."

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Thought for the Day

Life Lessons from Dead Poets Society

A wonderful film and some wonderful life lessons . . .

1. Thoughts and ideas cannot always be measured on a scale or with a test.

2. Everyone in an old photograph was young once.

3. If you listen closely, those people from the old photographs have a message for you.

4. No one lives forever.

5. Read and write poetry.

6. Always look at life from more than one perspective.

7. Expand your vocabulary.

8. Discover what it is that makes you unique.

9. Don't worry about what other people are doing.

10. Be like Thoreau and get out there.

11. It's okay to dream big.

12. Know the difference between school and an education.

13. Don't be afraid to give a barbaric yawp.

14. Do what makes you happy.

15. Learn from others.

16. And, finally, stand up for what is right and what you believe in.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Thought for the Day

Carpe Diem

Last week I posted a Thought for the Day that said that I wasn’t much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick. That prompted Byter Mary C to confess that some days she didn’t feel like even poking the day, much less seizing it. So today’s post, a homage to carpe diem, is dedicated to Mary . . .

“Thank you Mr. Pitts. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. The Latin term for that sentiment is Carpe Diem. Now who knows what that means? Carpe Diem. That’s ‘Seize the day.’ Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. Why does the writer use these lines…. Because we are food for the worms lads. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die.

Now I would like you to step forward over here and peruse some of the faces from the past. You have walked past them many times. I don’t think you’ve really looked at them. They’re not very different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you. Their eyes are full of hope just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because you see, gentlemen, these boys are now fertilising daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, Lean in. Listen… Do you hear it? (whispers) Carpe. (whispers again) Cape. Carpe Diem. Seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

Robin Williams as Mr Keating, Dead Poets Society